When I was 4, I was molested by my make cousin during a sleep over. He was 12 at the time.
It's been 12 years and I still have horrible mental scars from it. My Social skills are bad, all of my friends are girls because I don't trust guys, I can't even be alone in a room with a guy without fear of him trying to touch me.
i also despise human touch. To top it off, I'm very confused about my sexuality. It's weird. I like boys and girls, both sexually, but in different ways. I don't see them the same way. For a long time, I thought it was just my weird brain but then I decided to start a group at my school for kids who have been sexually abused. There are 18 kids and counting in the group. Out of the 18, 9 are gay, 5 (counting myself) are bisexual, and the remaining 4 are straight. What are the odds? That 14 out of 18 have sexuality issues. I read somewhere that when something as traumatic as rape or molestation happen at an early age, children's' brains go into defense mode (it's kind of sweet if you think about it. Part of the brain is protecting the other part) and sexualizes the memory so that the child doesn't see it as something bad anymore and sees it as a sexually exciting time. And the brain will sometimes cut off access to the memory.
what are your thoughts? Could sexual abuse affect sexual orientation?
It's been 12 years and I still have horrible mental scars from it. My Social skills are bad, all of my friends are girls because I don't trust guys, I can't even be alone in a room with a guy without fear of him trying to touch me.
i also despise human touch. To top it off, I'm very confused about my sexuality. It's weird. I like boys and girls, both sexually, but in different ways. I don't see them the same way. For a long time, I thought it was just my weird brain but then I decided to start a group at my school for kids who have been sexually abused. There are 18 kids and counting in the group. Out of the 18, 9 are gay, 5 (counting myself) are bisexual, and the remaining 4 are straight. What are the odds? That 14 out of 18 have sexuality issues. I read somewhere that when something as traumatic as rape or molestation happen at an early age, children's' brains go into defense mode (it's kind of sweet if you think about it. Part of the brain is protecting the other part) and sexualizes the memory so that the child doesn't see it as something bad anymore and sees it as a sexually exciting time. And the brain will sometimes cut off access to the memory.
what are your thoughts? Could sexual abuse affect sexual orientation?