Some advice please

So long story short my ex boyfriend (and only boyfriend) is in the same "circle" of friends as me. He was my best friend growing up, and we were always together. After I broke it off I don't return his texts or calls........

He is bi....so he says.....but not out, and except one mutual friend no one knows we were anything other than close friends. There was a big party a few weeks back and I skipped it because "he" was there. There is another one this week......I wanna go.....but don't want to see him. Its awkward as fk because he would, and will, ask me how I've been, good to see you......bla bla bla......then I know I'd.....give in, and start going down that road again........and I don't want to go there again. I miss him, but I cant let myself get into a relationship with him, ever again.

But I miss my friends (i don't have a lot lol)

I cant exactly say what my problem is with him to my friends, because I don't wanna "out" him........but when school starts up again (if we don't move) im gonna have to face it.

"Time heals" right, but for fk sakes its been months. IDK........its just a screwed up situation and I wish I could figure out a way to get over him, not let him back into my life, but yet be around him for the sake of being around my other friends.........ugh....

So if anyone has some advice I'd love to listen..........