Right I wasnt sure whether or not to post this on here or in the GLBT section... Basically im 21 years old and gay and Im in the early stages of a relationship with this guy ive met a few months ago. I really like him and tbh I've not met someone like him for a long time. Ive not liked someone like this for a long time, and I really care about him.
For some reason though, I can't help but shake this feeling that I shouldn't be in a relationship. It sounds stupid, I know. basically, a couple years ago (pretty much all of 2012) I went through a very, very lonely desperate phase of my life. I had just broken up with my first boyfriend (at the end of 2011) and I became convinced I needed love/romance to make me happy. What started as an innocent enough belief spiralled out of control; I became practically obsessed with men and dating, it was constantly on my mind. By January 2013 I had even started self-harming (only a few times over the course of a few weeks, not done it since) but I then got help through counselling and turned my life around.
Last year (2013) I realised I didn't need that sort of thing to be happy. I put myself forward for so much stuff; job opportunities, University related stuff, I even went to live in the USA for a while. I was - and am - so happy, and Ive grown up so much. I guess I'm now worried that I could now be going into a relationship where I will have to rely on someone else? If that makes any sense?
It's almost like I was so desperate for so long that now that I have independence/happiness/stability I don't want to let go of it. I feel like this newfound happiness I discovered over a year ago has brought me so much, and I want to see what else it will bring? I know this sounds ridiculous. I also know that I don't want to let him slip away. I guess Im just very very confused and could use some advice :S:S:S:S
For some reason though, I can't help but shake this feeling that I shouldn't be in a relationship. It sounds stupid, I know. basically, a couple years ago (pretty much all of 2012) I went through a very, very lonely desperate phase of my life. I had just broken up with my first boyfriend (at the end of 2011) and I became convinced I needed love/romance to make me happy. What started as an innocent enough belief spiralled out of control; I became practically obsessed with men and dating, it was constantly on my mind. By January 2013 I had even started self-harming (only a few times over the course of a few weeks, not done it since) but I then got help through counselling and turned my life around.
Last year (2013) I realised I didn't need that sort of thing to be happy. I put myself forward for so much stuff; job opportunities, University related stuff, I even went to live in the USA for a while. I was - and am - so happy, and Ive grown up so much. I guess I'm now worried that I could now be going into a relationship where I will have to rely on someone else? If that makes any sense?
It's almost like I was so desperate for so long that now that I have independence/happiness/stability I don't want to let go of it. I feel like this newfound happiness I discovered over a year ago has brought me so much, and I want to see what else it will bring? I know this sounds ridiculous. I also know that I don't want to let him slip away. I guess Im just very very confused and could use some advice :S:S:S:S