this is my first post so i'm not entirely sure its in the right place,
Lately I've been feeling pretty down, due to a combination of things. on the whole i'm not the most confident person ever, i don't mind meeting new people in fact i really enjoy it but i find it hard to speak to girls i like without getting into the "FRIENDZONE" it doesn't bother me that much that i get in the friendzone because at the end of the day you get some brilliant mates out of it. About two months ago i built up the courage to ask a girl out for some food she agreed (for a change) we went out had a laugh and a week later after speaking to her a fair bit she text me asking what i was upto, at the time i was chilling in a mates house with three of my bests mates (all lads) they agreed she could come round for a bit as they full well know that this doesn't often happen for me, so the night went on and she started moving away from and towards one of the other lads who i wont name, i thought not much of it just kinda thought shes just getting to know my mates a bit better then we all went upstairs for a bit and we were all chilling in my mates room on the bed at which point i went for a cig not thinking that anything would happen because they were my mates of course. After coming back in i went back upstairs and she was in bed with the lad cuddling up to my "mate" at this point i started to get pissed off (which i think is fair enough) i couldnt really take sitting there and watching because it was just angering me so i headed down stairs followed by two of my mates, but where is she and the other mate? yup still upstairs i decided to call it a night because i was a wreck so i headed to the spare room got into bed and just had images going through my head over and over again and i got really worked up to the point where i started what id stopped doing for a long time and made the stupid mistake of thinking it was a good idea to hurt myself because of it so i slashed at my legs and yeah it wasnt good put i kept it hidden from the others. so i wake up in the morning, head off to work and its playing on my mind all day, i actually got sent home early because i "wasnt myself" according to my boss, headed home and didnt really know who to talk to, so i spoke to a mate of mine and she tried to re assure me saying that it was probabley just my head making me think it. about an hour or so later i get a text off the girl saying that she was really sorry but lastnight she had been messing around with my mate and felt really bad, at this point i started to go mental so got on my bike went to see my "mate" and squared up to him pretty angrilly and of course he denied any wrongdoing admitted that she tried to pull him but that he turned it down etc etc and i, after some time began to, not quite forgive but let it go. as you can imagne this left me with pretty low confidence, this paired with exams at uni really stressed me out. so a couple of weeks pass and she comes into my work asking for my forgiveness and saying shed do anything for me to forgive her so i said ok then, tell me exactly what you did that night to which she at first refused to tell me, i then replied to this by saying well that tells me it all then doesnt it? obviously something big happened otherwise youd just tell me, she went on that she didnt want to hurt me by telling me etc. in the end she did tell me that they slept together. heart sank. not just that he did that fully knowing that i really liked her but that he'd lied to me for a good couple of weeks. somewhat understandably i dont want to ever see the fucker again. so now we are upto tonight got invited out by the same group of mates i asked who was going and they said this lad was coming so i didnt fancy going out. My friends now all seem to be turning on me because im being harsh by not wanting to associate with him. i dont feel like ive done anything wrong in all of this but im the one who's ended up with mates leaving me and the lowest confidence ever :( i dont really know what to do. some advice or something like that would be great. any ways of helping to keep yourself smiling would also be apreciated along with any confidence tips.
thanks for reading,
Fake_scouser
Lately I've been feeling pretty down, due to a combination of things. on the whole i'm not the most confident person ever, i don't mind meeting new people in fact i really enjoy it but i find it hard to speak to girls i like without getting into the "FRIENDZONE" it doesn't bother me that much that i get in the friendzone because at the end of the day you get some brilliant mates out of it. About two months ago i built up the courage to ask a girl out for some food she agreed (for a change) we went out had a laugh and a week later after speaking to her a fair bit she text me asking what i was upto, at the time i was chilling in a mates house with three of my bests mates (all lads) they agreed she could come round for a bit as they full well know that this doesn't often happen for me, so the night went on and she started moving away from and towards one of the other lads who i wont name, i thought not much of it just kinda thought shes just getting to know my mates a bit better then we all went upstairs for a bit and we were all chilling in my mates room on the bed at which point i went for a cig not thinking that anything would happen because they were my mates of course. After coming back in i went back upstairs and she was in bed with the lad cuddling up to my "mate" at this point i started to get pissed off (which i think is fair enough) i couldnt really take sitting there and watching because it was just angering me so i headed down stairs followed by two of my mates, but where is she and the other mate? yup still upstairs i decided to call it a night because i was a wreck so i headed to the spare room got into bed and just had images going through my head over and over again and i got really worked up to the point where i started what id stopped doing for a long time and made the stupid mistake of thinking it was a good idea to hurt myself because of it so i slashed at my legs and yeah it wasnt good put i kept it hidden from the others. so i wake up in the morning, head off to work and its playing on my mind all day, i actually got sent home early because i "wasnt myself" according to my boss, headed home and didnt really know who to talk to, so i spoke to a mate of mine and she tried to re assure me saying that it was probabley just my head making me think it. about an hour or so later i get a text off the girl saying that she was really sorry but lastnight she had been messing around with my mate and felt really bad, at this point i started to go mental so got on my bike went to see my "mate" and squared up to him pretty angrilly and of course he denied any wrongdoing admitted that she tried to pull him but that he turned it down etc etc and i, after some time began to, not quite forgive but let it go. as you can imagne this left me with pretty low confidence, this paired with exams at uni really stressed me out. so a couple of weeks pass and she comes into my work asking for my forgiveness and saying shed do anything for me to forgive her so i said ok then, tell me exactly what you did that night to which she at first refused to tell me, i then replied to this by saying well that tells me it all then doesnt it? obviously something big happened otherwise youd just tell me, she went on that she didnt want to hurt me by telling me etc. in the end she did tell me that they slept together. heart sank. not just that he did that fully knowing that i really liked her but that he'd lied to me for a good couple of weeks. somewhat understandably i dont want to ever see the fucker again. so now we are upto tonight got invited out by the same group of mates i asked who was going and they said this lad was coming so i didnt fancy going out. My friends now all seem to be turning on me because im being harsh by not wanting to associate with him. i dont feel like ive done anything wrong in all of this but im the one who's ended up with mates leaving me and the lowest confidence ever :( i dont really know what to do. some advice or something like that would be great. any ways of helping to keep yourself smiling would also be apreciated along with any confidence tips.
thanks for reading,
Fake_scouser