ITS QUITE LONG, ILL CHANGE THE COLOUR FOR THE MAIN POINTS, but if you could read it all and help me i would be very grateful, if you can't be bothered just read the different colour areas :) (sorry there's alot of red, i feel like alot has happend here xD)
Basically im not super depressed to the point that i want to hurt myself or don't know what to do with my life, but this period of my life is rough to ME as i have alot on my plate, and my revision didn't go to well due me finding it hard to concentrate to what this girl has done. I went out with her for 4 months (broke up in feb) and stayed "friends", i'll try and bullet point what's happened and keep it short, i'll put the month (roughly) which what event happened in
-I first met her at a party, she thought i was a type of person who just wants to shag and leave, instead i talked about her problems to her and didn't get on her (OCT)
-We started a relationship like 2 weeks later, it was going alright, i'll ask if she wanted to meet up outside college and she started making up excuses (social anxiety, having low oxygen, being bipolar and having panic attacks) didn't think really anything about it then (OCT)
-She started to talk about her ex quite a bit to me and said i remind her of him as i talk about porn... (OCT)
-First argument was about her ex as i called him a cunt, basically she told me he raped her after their relationship, which now i know is BS due to her always changing the story completely around so she's the victim, she told me that when they broke up she would go to his house and the only way he would talk to her if she had sex with him... at the time i had complete hatred as she made it out he raped her to me... He didn't at all (i didn't know that at this time) (NOV)
-Literally keeps making excuses and lets say i ask her on 5 occasions (when we have time off college) if she wants to meet up, she makes some shit excuse and then on 2 of them occasions goes out with her friends to a pub (OCT/NOV/DEC)
-She then gets into an argument with a close friend due to her getting a boyfriend and it ends up with him deleting her off facebook due to her being in a relationship (DEC)
-Get to Christmas period and she asks me to host a new years party... i say i'll ask and that it's going to happen, gets in our Christmas holiday, she then says that she's been invited to another one, i didn't want to stop her from spending time with her friends so i said why not, she also said to me she might get on some girls (?) ... i was thinking that she HAS to make it up to me... boy was i wrong. (DEC)
-She doesn't meet me up in the christmas holidays (no surprise) her excuse is that it's an important festival for her due to being religious, she was like i could see you on NYE day but said i have to get ready, so i was like alright you do that! instead she says that she is going to help the person who removed her on facebook with his project and pose with him as a couple when someone takes a picture for them for his course work... i was like well this is a kick in the balls, she's gotta meet up with me! lol... (DEC)
-NYE and this is my big mistake (and ONLY BIG MISTAKE I DID, which what she's done to me it wasn't bad), so i get a phone call at like 11pm and its one of her friends on her phone saying that her and two other girls are all over each other on a bed while people are watching, this destroyed me even more. We get to later on that night and i call her, im drunk and depressed but she tells me she dirty grinded boys and girls and was making out with two girls on a bed. My mistake was that i called her and said i would beat up her ex... i wouldn't, i was literally rambling about anything to her and she turns everything on it's head and now im a horrible guy. [DEC/JAN]
-Through out Jan to feb she starts acting really strange with her phone and will NOT let me touch it, she would freak out if i held her phone. we have arguments and she keeps making excuses about not meeting me up generally having arguments now, she said that she felt trapped with me as she didn't have another friends group and if she broke up with me she wouldn't go to college as she would be alone (guilt card) so i said you can break up with me and we can still be friends, i wanted her to pass her A levels, she didn't break up with me yet [JAN/FEB]
-Get to a week before valentines and basically she's not going to meet up with me on valentines because she busy with dance for like 2 hours (she's 18... not 7) i said do you even wanna go out with me, and she says lets take a break. [FEB]
-Through out the whole week she still acts like we are in a relationship and on valentines im with a couple of friends and she keeps texting me how depressed she is. [FEB]
-Get to the day after valentines and literally on snapchat, her ex comes out of no where and over takes me as her bestfriend. [FEB]
-We had a week off college now and now in texts she keeps referring me as a "friend" i say to her so we aren't together now? and she says stop playing these games you know we are broken up and says that going on a break and breaking are the same thing... [FEB]
-We go back to college and she texts me on the Monday night saying that she needs looking after as her and her ex were talking about all the good times and its making her depressed, so me being a bitch looked after her [FEB]
- the next 2 months were horrible for me, she literally bullied me, calling me fat, ugly, stupid and retarded and that it was like she looking after a baby, let me just say, i wake up at 4 in the morning to walk 4 miles to a gym before college to work out, i do have troubles learning, i always have and she knows that teachers in my previous schools would pick on me for it but because she's in this mood where she would take everything out on me, if i reacted it was my fault [FEB/MARCH/APRIL]
-after work one day she texts me saying, sorry i haven't been texting you i've been around my exs house, she goes on to say how it was such an amazing day and that she's so happy that their family accepted her back into their house, i literally felt horrible, like i was going to throw up. it was like she was shoving it in my face that she's getting back with her... [FEB/MARCH APRIL]
-She then tells me [with one of my friends being there] that she got on 3 girls, not 2 and got naked with a girl in a room alone [ON NYE]... she then keeps going on about her sex life to my friend [friend is sexually active] while im there [MARCH]
-we had a day off and said for me to have a gathering around my house, so i do, she then on that day said she couldn't go as her mum is not letting her out due to her not revising enough, 2 days later I'm in class she then texts me saying that she is tired, i was like i was quite energetic, she then replies that she stayed up until 3 am watching shrek with her ex. Let me just say she stopped taking the pill when she was me and then when she started seeing this guy again she started taking it again. I had to leave my class and clear my head when she told me this. She then goes to college and sees me depressed, she sits next to me and says why are you depressed and then gets angry with me as i don't give her a straight answer, she then starts texting her ex and reads what she texts just loud enough so i can hear it, something about buying nutella. Somehow she turned it around that i was apologizing and was trying to make amends. i was so depressed right now. [APRIL]
-Basically (a month after that) her ex just wants to shag and doesn't want a relationship, she doesn't want that, so now she apologies to me and wished she didn't reacted the way she did to me, she now starts acting like a couple to me, she is ALL over me, kissing me and hugging me when we are alone. [APRIL/MAY]
-She then goes to a party with the company she works with (regional party, where everyone in the business from the county will go somewhere to party) She fucks 3 guys... she takes someones virginity, she fuck 3 guys where other people were getting fucked... she played it out to me like she wasn't sorry and was proud it happen, this quote will stay for me for life "it's okay i didn't give them a blow job"... the only way i could take my anger was that i ran for 2 hours at 2 in the morning, i honestly wanted the world to suck me up. [MAY]
-Basically i forgave her as she said that she is still her and that is she worth it. But she somehow twisted it that i should feel sorry for her, we also had 2 weeks off and she said to me in those 2 weeks she had to revise and couldn't meet up, she then said she went out with her friends and saw her ex twice. i honestly forgave her as i wanted to her to pass her A levels, i told her i'm so weak when its comes to you and i can't say no, she knew this and took advantage of my mental state by being all over me still after this happend. She knows that im depressed, due to what she has done and my family problems (parents divorcing, dads heart is getting worse, mums neck pain is getting worse and my brothers brain damage is getting worse) but she gives me NO sympathy.[MAY]
-NOW this past week and a bit, she's now speaking to this other person and is getting close to him, she's known him for a year as he was in a class with her, but now it seems she's replaced me with him, just like she did with her ex and is now pushing me away and doesn't care about communication with each other, just with like her ex... Yesterday was D day, i said to her it would be weird (key word is weird here) that if i stood on them beaches that people my aged died there. She went ape shit and said that weird is a grotesque word and that it offended her, last time she flipped out at me was when i said the army are trained to kill (just to let you know im joining the armed forces and my dad is a veteran) but i said to her that this is a silly argument and you're just looking for an argument, i don't want to upset you, im sorry, i've had one of the worst weeks of my life. She replied saying dont think you can get on a high horse because no one came back for you, then says to delete her. [JUNE]
I honestly don't know what to do, i mean i don't feel that bad but then again all i can think that she is getting with someone else and all i've done was for nothing... i gave everything to her, for her to stab me in the back, again and again. I defended her to people and mostly to my self, i think she's hurt me too much to even be hurt now, i predicted everything! i mean everything before it happened, i just didn't think it would happen, i was fucking stupid and really regret meeting her, as soon as my friend met her, he said to me that she was bad news as all she talked about was that she gone out with everyone in her friends(not shagging, just petty relationships) group par from one person. He was wise and stayed away, i was just her emotional punch bag for college, but what ever i do she just changes it around that im the bad guy and i'm in the wrong, what should i say to her? should i never talk to her again or should i say whats on my mind, when i say im depressed she says not to play the sob card, when she's depressed im there for her, so should i tell her to fuck off and never talk to me again on be polite and say i don't want to talk to her anymore, should i be mean or polite to her? What should i say to her?
I really appreciate your guys help! Thank you so much and many blessing to you all for the future :D
Basically im not super depressed to the point that i want to hurt myself or don't know what to do with my life, but this period of my life is rough to ME as i have alot on my plate, and my revision didn't go to well due me finding it hard to concentrate to what this girl has done. I went out with her for 4 months (broke up in feb) and stayed "friends", i'll try and bullet point what's happened and keep it short, i'll put the month (roughly) which what event happened in
-I first met her at a party, she thought i was a type of person who just wants to shag and leave, instead i talked about her problems to her and didn't get on her (OCT)
-We started a relationship like 2 weeks later, it was going alright, i'll ask if she wanted to meet up outside college and she started making up excuses (social anxiety, having low oxygen, being bipolar and having panic attacks) didn't think really anything about it then (OCT)
-She started to talk about her ex quite a bit to me and said i remind her of him as i talk about porn... (OCT)
-First argument was about her ex as i called him a cunt, basically she told me he raped her after their relationship, which now i know is BS due to her always changing the story completely around so she's the victim, she told me that when they broke up she would go to his house and the only way he would talk to her if she had sex with him... at the time i had complete hatred as she made it out he raped her to me... He didn't at all (i didn't know that at this time) (NOV)
-Literally keeps making excuses and lets say i ask her on 5 occasions (when we have time off college) if she wants to meet up, she makes some shit excuse and then on 2 of them occasions goes out with her friends to a pub (OCT/NOV/DEC)
-She then gets into an argument with a close friend due to her getting a boyfriend and it ends up with him deleting her off facebook due to her being in a relationship (DEC)
-Get to Christmas period and she asks me to host a new years party... i say i'll ask and that it's going to happen, gets in our Christmas holiday, she then says that she's been invited to another one, i didn't want to stop her from spending time with her friends so i said why not, she also said to me she might get on some girls (?) ... i was thinking that she HAS to make it up to me... boy was i wrong. (DEC)
-She doesn't meet me up in the christmas holidays (no surprise) her excuse is that it's an important festival for her due to being religious, she was like i could see you on NYE day but said i have to get ready, so i was like alright you do that! instead she says that she is going to help the person who removed her on facebook with his project and pose with him as a couple when someone takes a picture for them for his course work... i was like well this is a kick in the balls, she's gotta meet up with me! lol... (DEC)
-NYE and this is my big mistake (and ONLY BIG MISTAKE I DID, which what she's done to me it wasn't bad), so i get a phone call at like 11pm and its one of her friends on her phone saying that her and two other girls are all over each other on a bed while people are watching, this destroyed me even more. We get to later on that night and i call her, im drunk and depressed but she tells me she dirty grinded boys and girls and was making out with two girls on a bed. My mistake was that i called her and said i would beat up her ex... i wouldn't, i was literally rambling about anything to her and she turns everything on it's head and now im a horrible guy. [DEC/JAN]
-Through out Jan to feb she starts acting really strange with her phone and will NOT let me touch it, she would freak out if i held her phone. we have arguments and she keeps making excuses about not meeting me up generally having arguments now, she said that she felt trapped with me as she didn't have another friends group and if she broke up with me she wouldn't go to college as she would be alone (guilt card) so i said you can break up with me and we can still be friends, i wanted her to pass her A levels, she didn't break up with me yet [JAN/FEB]
-Get to a week before valentines and basically she's not going to meet up with me on valentines because she busy with dance for like 2 hours (she's 18... not 7) i said do you even wanna go out with me, and she says lets take a break. [FEB]
-Through out the whole week she still acts like we are in a relationship and on valentines im with a couple of friends and she keeps texting me how depressed she is. [FEB]
-Get to the day after valentines and literally on snapchat, her ex comes out of no where and over takes me as her bestfriend. [FEB]
-We had a week off college now and now in texts she keeps referring me as a "friend" i say to her so we aren't together now? and she says stop playing these games you know we are broken up and says that going on a break and breaking are the same thing... [FEB]
-We go back to college and she texts me on the Monday night saying that she needs looking after as her and her ex were talking about all the good times and its making her depressed, so me being a bitch looked after her [FEB]
- the next 2 months were horrible for me, she literally bullied me, calling me fat, ugly, stupid and retarded and that it was like she looking after a baby, let me just say, i wake up at 4 in the morning to walk 4 miles to a gym before college to work out, i do have troubles learning, i always have and she knows that teachers in my previous schools would pick on me for it but because she's in this mood where she would take everything out on me, if i reacted it was my fault [FEB/MARCH/APRIL]
-after work one day she texts me saying, sorry i haven't been texting you i've been around my exs house, she goes on to say how it was such an amazing day and that she's so happy that their family accepted her back into their house, i literally felt horrible, like i was going to throw up. it was like she was shoving it in my face that she's getting back with her... [FEB/MARCH APRIL]
-She then tells me [with one of my friends being there] that she got on 3 girls, not 2 and got naked with a girl in a room alone [ON NYE]... she then keeps going on about her sex life to my friend [friend is sexually active] while im there [MARCH]
-we had a day off and said for me to have a gathering around my house, so i do, she then on that day said she couldn't go as her mum is not letting her out due to her not revising enough, 2 days later I'm in class she then texts me saying that she is tired, i was like i was quite energetic, she then replies that she stayed up until 3 am watching shrek with her ex. Let me just say she stopped taking the pill when she was me and then when she started seeing this guy again she started taking it again. I had to leave my class and clear my head when she told me this. She then goes to college and sees me depressed, she sits next to me and says why are you depressed and then gets angry with me as i don't give her a straight answer, she then starts texting her ex and reads what she texts just loud enough so i can hear it, something about buying nutella. Somehow she turned it around that i was apologizing and was trying to make amends. i was so depressed right now. [APRIL]
-Basically (a month after that) her ex just wants to shag and doesn't want a relationship, she doesn't want that, so now she apologies to me and wished she didn't reacted the way she did to me, she now starts acting like a couple to me, she is ALL over me, kissing me and hugging me when we are alone. [APRIL/MAY]
-She then goes to a party with the company she works with (regional party, where everyone in the business from the county will go somewhere to party) She fucks 3 guys... she takes someones virginity, she fuck 3 guys where other people were getting fucked... she played it out to me like she wasn't sorry and was proud it happen, this quote will stay for me for life "it's okay i didn't give them a blow job"... the only way i could take my anger was that i ran for 2 hours at 2 in the morning, i honestly wanted the world to suck me up. [MAY]
-Basically i forgave her as she said that she is still her and that is she worth it. But she somehow twisted it that i should feel sorry for her, we also had 2 weeks off and she said to me in those 2 weeks she had to revise and couldn't meet up, she then said she went out with her friends and saw her ex twice. i honestly forgave her as i wanted to her to pass her A levels, i told her i'm so weak when its comes to you and i can't say no, she knew this and took advantage of my mental state by being all over me still after this happend. She knows that im depressed, due to what she has done and my family problems (parents divorcing, dads heart is getting worse, mums neck pain is getting worse and my brothers brain damage is getting worse) but she gives me NO sympathy.[MAY]
-NOW this past week and a bit, she's now speaking to this other person and is getting close to him, she's known him for a year as he was in a class with her, but now it seems she's replaced me with him, just like she did with her ex and is now pushing me away and doesn't care about communication with each other, just with like her ex... Yesterday was D day, i said to her it would be weird (key word is weird here) that if i stood on them beaches that people my aged died there. She went ape shit and said that weird is a grotesque word and that it offended her, last time she flipped out at me was when i said the army are trained to kill (just to let you know im joining the armed forces and my dad is a veteran) but i said to her that this is a silly argument and you're just looking for an argument, i don't want to upset you, im sorry, i've had one of the worst weeks of my life. She replied saying dont think you can get on a high horse because no one came back for you, then says to delete her. [JUNE]
I honestly don't know what to do, i mean i don't feel that bad but then again all i can think that she is getting with someone else and all i've done was for nothing... i gave everything to her, for her to stab me in the back, again and again. I defended her to people and mostly to my self, i think she's hurt me too much to even be hurt now, i predicted everything! i mean everything before it happened, i just didn't think it would happen, i was fucking stupid and really regret meeting her, as soon as my friend met her, he said to me that she was bad news as all she talked about was that she gone out with everyone in her friends(not shagging, just petty relationships) group par from one person. He was wise and stayed away, i was just her emotional punch bag for college, but what ever i do she just changes it around that im the bad guy and i'm in the wrong, what should i say to her? should i never talk to her again or should i say whats on my mind, when i say im depressed she says not to play the sob card, when she's depressed im there for her, so should i tell her to fuck off and never talk to me again on be polite and say i don't want to talk to her anymore, should i be mean or polite to her? What should i say to her?
I really appreciate your guys help! Thank you so much and many blessing to you all for the future :D