I'm not looking for advice or input. I just need to rant.
To be honest, I'm starting to get to the place where I've just had enough.
I was diagnosed with epilepsy at age 13, I’m almost 18 now. They said it’s genetic and I’ve likely had it all of my life because my half-brother has it as well. They put me on Lamictal XR and my seizures were semi-controlled for awhile. Then I was assaulted and the head trauma caused my epilepsy to be worse than before. So they upped my Lamictal XR and added Topamax. For awhile, it helped, but over time they just keep upping the dose with no success of control. Right now I’m on 350 mg of Lamictal XR and 150 Topamax.
Recently, I have began having partial seizures along with my absense seizures and grand-mals. They’ve been getting worse and worse, I’m averaging 30-40 a day of partials and absenses. The doctor wont listen to me when I tell him my meds need to be changed, because obviously they aren’t having any effect anymore. And my parents wont listen either. It’s really complicated.
Today I had a grand-mal. I barely escaped having it in the middle of the cafeteria, and was actually able to get to the office just minutes before it hit. No big deal right, considering I have epilepsy? Wrong. It's my third full-blown seizure just this month. The third grand-mal. And that's crazy even for me. So now I'm having 40 seizures a day with 3 grand-mals a month, and nobody freaking cares or will listen to me and I've just had enough.
People think just because they can't see what I'm feeling means it's not happening. But it is happening and I deal with it constantly. It never goes away and I can't hide from it. They have the choice to ignore it or not, but I don't.
It's constantly something. Food allergies, stomach acid issues, epilepsy, asthma, the list just keeps coming. It's like every time I turn around, it's something else. It's so overwhelming and I just have had enough. :/
And to top it off, I'm about to graduate and there's no way I can go off to the college that I want to go to like this. I can't do what I want to do while having 40 seizures a day. It's just not going to happen. I miss so much school and yeah my absences are excused, but in college they will fail me. I don't know what to do and nobody will listen or do anything to help me.
To be honest, I'm starting to get to the place where I've just had enough.
I was diagnosed with epilepsy at age 13, I’m almost 18 now. They said it’s genetic and I’ve likely had it all of my life because my half-brother has it as well. They put me on Lamictal XR and my seizures were semi-controlled for awhile. Then I was assaulted and the head trauma caused my epilepsy to be worse than before. So they upped my Lamictal XR and added Topamax. For awhile, it helped, but over time they just keep upping the dose with no success of control. Right now I’m on 350 mg of Lamictal XR and 150 Topamax.
Recently, I have began having partial seizures along with my absense seizures and grand-mals. They’ve been getting worse and worse, I’m averaging 30-40 a day of partials and absenses. The doctor wont listen to me when I tell him my meds need to be changed, because obviously they aren’t having any effect anymore. And my parents wont listen either. It’s really complicated.
Today I had a grand-mal. I barely escaped having it in the middle of the cafeteria, and was actually able to get to the office just minutes before it hit. No big deal right, considering I have epilepsy? Wrong. It's my third full-blown seizure just this month. The third grand-mal. And that's crazy even for me. So now I'm having 40 seizures a day with 3 grand-mals a month, and nobody freaking cares or will listen to me and I've just had enough.
People think just because they can't see what I'm feeling means it's not happening. But it is happening and I deal with it constantly. It never goes away and I can't hide from it. They have the choice to ignore it or not, but I don't.
It's constantly something. Food allergies, stomach acid issues, epilepsy, asthma, the list just keeps coming. It's like every time I turn around, it's something else. It's so overwhelming and I just have had enough. :/
And to top it off, I'm about to graduate and there's no way I can go off to the college that I want to go to like this. I can't do what I want to do while having 40 seizures a day. It's just not going to happen. I miss so much school and yeah my absences are excused, but in college they will fail me. I don't know what to do and nobody will listen or do anything to help me.