Hi, I want to apologise for the length of this post, please do help me in any way you can :)
I am an 18 year old male and I just had a hard time processing some information.
I have had this awesome, awesome best friend for quite a long time now and we've always been really open to one another and I saw myself reflected on him in an improved way (admired him) and I love him like a brother, and I believe he does to me as well (though I can't figure out why the hell)
We were late when it came to development/relationships, instead we just played videogames and watched cartoons together,pretty childish but I was happy.
Now, he got a girlfriend some time ago and today mentioned that not only did he have sex with her, but with many other girls. Normal, I know.
The thing is that I never thought of him engaging in such things, he was like my little brother and when he said that I felt...like I was getting left behind by life itself! Even my long time immature playmate is growing up (even physically he got taller than me and more muscular) and as much as I'd like to catch up, I just don't want to deal with growing up. I can't have a stable relationship with a girl and I am a virgin still and I felt FINE about it until today, when it hit me that I am stuck in the world that I can't leave, but feel like I have to.
(I think that's because as a kid I was verbally/physically abused and later on I wanted to regain that lost time, and my friend was the one to do that with).
The problem is that now I see him differently, distantly, and can no longer think of him as my equal, but as someone who is much more accomplished than I am. At his side, I feel completely small and irrelevant.
Has anyone gone through something similar? How can I start dealing with my situation and dealing with my friend's progress over mine?
I am an 18 year old male and I just had a hard time processing some information.
I have had this awesome, awesome best friend for quite a long time now and we've always been really open to one another and I saw myself reflected on him in an improved way (admired him) and I love him like a brother, and I believe he does to me as well (though I can't figure out why the hell)
We were late when it came to development/relationships, instead we just played videogames and watched cartoons together,pretty childish but I was happy.
Now, he got a girlfriend some time ago and today mentioned that not only did he have sex with her, but with many other girls. Normal, I know.
The thing is that I never thought of him engaging in such things, he was like my little brother and when he said that I felt...like I was getting left behind by life itself! Even my long time immature playmate is growing up (even physically he got taller than me and more muscular) and as much as I'd like to catch up, I just don't want to deal with growing up. I can't have a stable relationship with a girl and I am a virgin still and I felt FINE about it until today, when it hit me that I am stuck in the world that I can't leave, but feel like I have to.
(I think that's because as a kid I was verbally/physically abused and later on I wanted to regain that lost time, and my friend was the one to do that with).
The problem is that now I see him differently, distantly, and can no longer think of him as my equal, but as someone who is much more accomplished than I am. At his side, I feel completely small and irrelevant.
Has anyone gone through something similar? How can I start dealing with my situation and dealing with my friend's progress over mine?