I'm definitely not ready for school. I'm taking four college classes (along with my high-school classes), three of them at a community college and I'm definitely not ready.
I still need all of my textbooks, but my school needs to get their budget before they can buy more. So I'll have to go through the first week of classes without my textbooks. I guess it's just a slight inconvenience for some, but I like being prepared in advance no matter what.
My Monday/Wednesday schedule pretty much lasts from 7:30 AM - 7:00 PM...with a one hour and thirty minute break in between...which I'll be at the community college during the break. There's no way I'll be able to stay up that long. Heck, I'll be getting up at 6:30 AM to get ready, and that's even if I have most things ready in advance. How stressful. It's all part of living I guess...
I wish I could be someone else for a while. Or let someone else takeover while I become a spectator seeing through my own eyes. It's not fair. I hate it. I hate it. I'm not improving. My attempts only knock me back down. I hate it. I hate it. I'd give up my legs just to instantly be able to communicate to others properly without stress. And to not have to worry about simple things that I shouldn't worry about in the first place.
I've thought about killing myself a lot, but heck, I can't even gain the courage to talk to anyone unrelated to me on the phone. I can't visit someone's home without wanting to puke. I'd never be able to do it if I even wanted to. I'm stuck. I'm not sure how others have succeeded with that...I can't entirely understand how any person must have been feeling to be able to get themselves to do it.
My problems are so simple, but I make everything so complicated. It's a horrible feeling.. I've never been beaten up, kidnapped, or sexually abused. I feel like I don't even deserve to complain. I'm human garbage. Definitely the worst.
I still need all of my textbooks, but my school needs to get their budget before they can buy more. So I'll have to go through the first week of classes without my textbooks. I guess it's just a slight inconvenience for some, but I like being prepared in advance no matter what.
My Monday/Wednesday schedule pretty much lasts from 7:30 AM - 7:00 PM...with a one hour and thirty minute break in between...which I'll be at the community college during the break. There's no way I'll be able to stay up that long. Heck, I'll be getting up at 6:30 AM to get ready, and that's even if I have most things ready in advance. How stressful. It's all part of living I guess...
I wish I could be someone else for a while. Or let someone else takeover while I become a spectator seeing through my own eyes. It's not fair. I hate it. I hate it. I'm not improving. My attempts only knock me back down. I hate it. I hate it. I'd give up my legs just to instantly be able to communicate to others properly without stress. And to not have to worry about simple things that I shouldn't worry about in the first place.
I've thought about killing myself a lot, but heck, I can't even gain the courage to talk to anyone unrelated to me on the phone. I can't visit someone's home without wanting to puke. I'd never be able to do it if I even wanted to. I'm stuck. I'm not sure how others have succeeded with that...I can't entirely understand how any person must have been feeling to be able to get themselves to do it.
My problems are so simple, but I make everything so complicated. It's a horrible feeling.. I've never been beaten up, kidnapped, or sexually abused. I feel like I don't even deserve to complain. I'm human garbage. Definitely the worst.